Russian moon rover was stolen by aliens
An unmanned Russian lunar rover, missing for the past 40 years, has turned up on the Moon – and now we know why it disappeared. It was stolen by aliens.
“It’s a problem NASA never talks about,” said William H Carpenter, head of the Carpenter Foundation for Galactic Law Enforcement. “People imagine the biggest problems with aliens are abduction and the possibility of interstallar war. But on a day-to-day basis, the real issue is petty theft.”
The Soviet-era Lunokhod 1 rover landed on the Moon in 1970. For nearly a year it bumbled about the Mare Imbrium, thanks to its Polonium-210 atomic power pack, sending back information to its Communist masters. Then it disappeared.
Now NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO) which is circling the Moon taking snaps of the surface, has found the missing vehicle.
NASA has released fuzzy images it says are the Soviet rover. But inside sources say they have much higher resolution images that are being kept secret.
“The reason is simple,” says Carpenter. “The pictures show evidence that the Lunokhod has been adapted for use by aliens. According to my sources, small seats have been added, and the whole vehicle has been given a custom paint job featuring strange symbols.”
NASA has so far refused to comment on the rumors. However, it’s well known within space circles that theft is a serious problem for rovers and other planetary exploration vehicles. The US, Russia and the UK have all had missions end abruptly when their satellites, probes and buggies have inexplicably vanished – most notably on Mars missions.
Now it seems that the problem started 40 years ago and much closer to home.
Not everyone within the US space agency accepts the theft theory, though.
“I find it hard to believe,” said one NASA scientist. “Why would aliens steal some Russki POS like the Lunokhod when, around the same time, our boys on the Apollo 14 and 15 missions were blasting around the lunar surface in American hot rods? I mean, have you seen the Lunokhod?”
Some scientists likened the Lunokhod 1 and its lander craft (right) to a ‘flying dustbin’. But Carpenter thinks the aliens may have made a smart choice.
“Aside from the fact that it was unmanned, so the aliens didn’t have to bother with abducting anyone, the Lunokhod was actually pretty robust,” he said. “And that’s what you want when you’re driving around the hostile, unforgiving surface of the Moon. The American lunar rovers were much sleeker and better equipped. But you just know that, one week past the warranty period, they’d have broken down.”